Scars

There are people who are hurting but you’ll never see their scars.

Some people put up a front, they engage in a battle, a slow descent down a black hole. You never see the driving force behind their battle.

One thing is certain for such people, the driving force is always there. It’s all they hear, feel, see, smell and touch.

I have seen some of these scars. I have walked away from some, but Peaches had me at odds. He said “you are an Empath. You want to drain people of the hurt and leave them with some hope. You can’t save them all without breaking.” He said that the saddest part was how often he saw me do it.

I give him bits and pieces of myself and he’s cut by the shards of the pieces I hand him. He says I give him memories, feelings, insights, and truths of things he’d rather not be privy of.

So, here I am, bleeding on paper because it’s easier for me to take a pencil and use it to forge steel.

There are people who are hurting but you’ll never see their scars.

There are people who are so far gone that each piece, word, look, contempt,  sinks them deeper into the black hole they’re descending.

There are people who see such people and they take their pain as their’s, but it’s never enough, it’s never quite the same walking a mile in their shoe.

There are people who seek refuge in words, who spin tales, craft narratives, create worlds…people,there are people and there’s hurt.

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July’s favorites

One day at a time.

It seems like the Procrastinator’s code of life but for someone who’s been through tough times, it’s all that makes sense. I should have gathered this much in counseling, but I am a planner so, waiting it out seems like indecision at times. 

The aspect of not knowing where I stand with people and events unnerves me.

I’ve often found myself working on a thing or two and this month’s all about more hours writing and listening to music. I am loving a few things this month and thought since I did a post on June’s favorites why not do the same for July,so here goes nothing;

Lipbalm, animal print purse, fanta passion,americanah
Aliyana hair products are bae!

I have a friend who smelled my hair, like she actually went for a ten second sniff saying my hair smelled like bubble fruit gum and she wanted to eat it. I will admit that having a conditioner that smells like candy is one way of starting out the day with a smile.

I am also munching more on Giant chicken samosas made at Java.

The songs on replay on my list include:

  • Mungu Pekee by Nyashinski
  • Despacito by Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee
  • I will boast in Christ by Hillsong
  • Even if by Mercy Me
  • Burn by Usher

    One day a time.

    It’s all I’m saying for now. #Ushangaloading