Circles and Squares

I heard ’em say,

You can go in circles but not in squares.

You can start from square one but not from circle one.

 

I heard ’em say,

You are nothing like us.

You are nowhere near us,

Levels, lies, facades…lit up like an Instagram post,

Retweeted by strangers…circles and squares.

 

I heard ’em say,

You can go in circles but not in squares.

Can you fit a circle in a square?

Can you fit a square in a circle?

What would you do with the space that’s left unoccupied?

 

I heard ’em say,

You can go in circles but not in squares…

I heard ’em alright.

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Write a little everyday

Have you ever struggled with getting something done?

I could receive a crown for procrastinating especially when it comes to the latest book I’ve been writing and I got so frustrated today that I had to check in with a close friend. She’s writing her first book and we have this way of texting each other best wishes. So, when I shared my struggle she said “Just write a little every day.”

Well, I tried to do just that but it’s not helping!

So, what do you do when you seek advice but are not content or willing to try out the advice given?

I’ll admit that to some extent, my frustration lies in my expectation of a perfect script. A story that’s so seamless and entertaining that’ll leave the reader swooning and talking about it for years to come. It therefore follows that everything I do now with this kind of expectation is bound to fall short and that adds onto my frustration.

As I ponder of this dark cloud that I’ve refused to let go of, I figured why not look back at my April goals and share what I have been up to the past few days?

  • I made it to Nairobi and was there just in time for the celebration of #YALIat2000 held at Kenyatta University.

While in the capital city, I also treated myself to three of my favorite things: bookmarks, books and earrings.

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5 bookmarks for $1 at Hilton Arcade-Nairobi 
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Bookhaul 🙂 courtesy of Inama Bookshop near Fire Station on Tom Mboya Street.
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I love glass earrings so, I had to get these!
  • These two lovely notebooks are gifts from my insightful sister who knows that stationery is my kryptonite! She got them at a new store called Miniso 🙂

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I have to work on my impatience with this script and the only way I know how to do this is by venting my anger on paper- or by starting another script, but doing the latter would cost me time and probably make me lose focus on this current script.

I’ll mull over it for an hour or so, but all in all, I can’t wait to cozy up to this book:

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Help! I am in love with a Writer

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That’s it, I am officially losing my mind, and to make matters worse, he does not get where I’m coming from!

  1. He’s a Writer.
  2. He loves reading Autobiographies, Memoirs, Agatha Christie, Charlotte Bronte, and did I mention that he doesn’t know what the hype is about Chinua Achebe?
  3. He has this Note Taking App, called Adler’s Notes.
  4. When we sit down to coffee, he would pull out his phone mid-conversation and type something and then say “sorry, just had an idea.”
  5. He is a tea person!

And then there’s:

  1. He knows not to ask about a work in progress.
  2. We have coffee any time.
  3. He bought me the Lord and Master Trilogy by Kait Jagger because he knows there is some kink in me.
  4. He just saw three things that are wrong with this post’s title.
  5. I’m the one who has published and he is yet to complete his manuscript. So, when I aced NanoWrimo he was the first to ask “how do you write 50,000 words in one month when I cannot even write a thousand in a week?”
  6. When I disagree with him, we both picture each other as inanimate objects in our stories. I once drafted him as a stool in a short story.
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So, now that I have written all that…I think, I’ll just go and sit down quietly in some corner and figure out how this can be drafted into a plot for the next romance novella I’m writing.

April Goals

 

I love April but not as much as I love March. This month started out great because it’s bliss to start the week on a Tuesday, but personally, this month’s been great and I am getting healthier by the day. I had a bad case of food poisoning and I have never loved the washroom as much as I did this past week.

However, that’s not all there is to this post, I’ve been working on some major goals for this month and I’m looking forward to seeing them come to pass.

On writing:

  • I’d love to post more often. April is National Poetry Month, so I’d love to post one poem every week.
  • I want to collaborate with awesome writers from East and Central Africa for the holiday issue of Nilichoandika Magazine. I’m looking at five pieces of fiction or non-fiction from the contributors for the issue.
  • Having a session with five beta-readers and going through Sifuna before doing the final revision and publishing it.

On reading:

I’d love to get down to reading these titles this month:

   

On fitness:

  • I downloaded this app, well, technically, I installed three Home Workout apps and then deleted two, and kept the one that did not have “abdominal crunches” in any of the workout plans.
  • I’d love to plank for more than 30 seconds.
  • I want to also cut down on my sugar intake.

PS: I tried green tea and that stuff ain’t for me, I had to drink two cups of black coffee to get the taste out of my mouth, but it turns out that taking it before going to bed is like summoning the gods of sleep! Works wonders!

On leadership:

I would love to attend the YALI@2000 event on the 13th of April. Even though I have quite a flexible work schedule, being there to celebrate the young African leaders and to appreciate this awesome leadership program would be great.

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Those are my goals for this month. I may come up with more or achieve more during this month, but all in all, I’m hopeful.

Have a great week!

Waiting

I know a thing or two about waiting.

I know I don’t act like it, or make it known,

but I know a thing or two about waiting.

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He says “You’re frustrating, I don’t know where we stand, or whether what I’ll say will make you stay or leave.”

I walk away.

He shouts “I’m not done talking.”

I keep walking.

See, I know a thing or two about waiting, because sometimes…you have to keep still,

Hold your peace,

Treasure your silence so you can see who you truly are.

I know a thing or two about waiting…

Oh…there goes my bus!

 

Say You Love Me

 

Mark

“The opposite of love is not hate Mark, it is indifference. When she does not care about anything you do, know you have lost her.”

I wish someone told me of this early enough. I messed up, worse off I got caught. Things have been awful at home. I need to make things work. I need to get her back by all means. I miss my wife. I miss knowing that she thinks about me. I miss holding her in my arms-and even her smile. I have never seen or heard her cry. I guess I am the first one to make her bear so much pain. This has just messed me up and why did she call me? It was just one night of fun and I paid her well. She was not meant to call. Anyway she did so and that’s why Beryl left.

I met Nelson at the court and he told me she wants a divorce. He even showed me what he was drafting-she wanted a clean exit. She did not want to split property or take anything from me; rather she wants to get rid of my last name. I had three shots of Tequila that afternoon as Nelson advised me on what to do. He asked me why she was seeking divorce and I couldn’t tell him. I referred him to his client. Nelson has been my friend for a few years. He was in the same law firm as me before he got promoted to another branch within town. I took up the role of senior partner; word is that he is still doing his best to get there. The man is the best divorce attorney I have ever met in Kenya. He can get his clients the house or the children with just one word! I knew if Beryl went through with the divorce she would win. I love her. I know I messed up and I am doing what I can to get a second chance knowing I would not mess it up.

God how I wish I never went out that night. How I wish that I could go back and set things straight. Some of the guys laughed it off. They could not understand that with Beryl is the gentleness and never ending support that any man would be lucky to have. She is the ideal wife and I messed it up. I am sick of all this silence.

Do you know how we met? It was at a restaurant. She was seated at the table at the far end of the restaurant slowly going through a ladies magazine. I had to update a requisition letter for a client, and needed a place to plug my laptop charger. Her table was the only one located near a plug and I asked if I could join her. It was her smile that blew me away. I did not expect it but she asked me what I was engrossed in. I told her about what I did and she smiled and said, ‘no wonder you look all suited up!’ I must have laughed a while before it hit me that she was leaving. I gave her my card if ever she needed legal advice and she gave me hers saying that if ever I needed to buy a house or an apartment I could call her.

“How about coffee tomorrow evening?”

“Seriously?”

“Yes, I’d be honored.”

“Name the place and time and I will be there.”

“How about right here?”

“I will see you then Mark, have a wonderful day.”

“You too Beryl.”

I watched her leave before saving her number on my phone list in case I lost her card. I am careless with business cards and my clients know that too. In fact they always laugh about it at the firm that for a lawyer I lose the most vital information. I always retort that it’s better that way clients pay consultation fee!

Credit: Say You Love Me, 2012, Dora Okeyo